matthew to earth, come in earth…

when faced with a situation in which my dome can’t muster the words to match the emotion I’m aiming to convey, historically, i’ve houdini’d the sitch with some good ole fashion humor (generally of the self deprecating variety.)  this is the inaugural stumping of said abilities. 

as you know, we’re believers in the cosmos.  the energy fields on a sub-atomic level that shape the currents of our oceans.   we all know intrinsically and instinctively, what a situation feels like before an action is displayed to confirm it.

well…as effective and trustworthy as this faith has been in our minds, it was put to the ultimate test for me back there at the end of june.  i’m not quite ready to share the events in detail (i will soon), but i could not wait to share the following with you, our family, the River People, the musical community and friends.

i’m beyond lucky.  i have a soul connected to mine in an existential way.  while i was unconscious in the first hospital the ambulance took me to, i was in trouble.

somehow, i was able to pass a message along to nathan that ultimately saved my life (the first time)….i remember sending it into the thought domain, since i was unconscious, and he caught it.  he rushed out into the main area and grabbed a doctor and told him, “he needs a CT scan IMMEDIATELY!”  they obliged, and sent me in.  because of this, they learned i was bleeding inside my brain and an alarming rate and i only had about 30 to 45 minutes to live.

that hospital didn’t have any brain surgeons that were qualified to do the operation necessary, so the ambulance rushed me to another one.  there, they proceeded urgently to chainsaw that bad boy open and this is where i’ll go dark…..

this is also where you guys come in….

after word got out about what had happened, you began an unprecedented ground swell of light and love.  apply the “butterfly effect” theory….your thoughts and energies transcended time and space and filled up the Intensive Care Unit with a radiant glowing vibration that  brought me right back into this goofy vessel of mine.

now, hypothetically, if one were to be sucker clobbered in the head with a blunt object, knocking said fellow to the cement curb and then our hypothetical victim proceeded to get bashed in the face and head about 40 or 50 times with fists, shoes and whatever else was around, by a lunatic wife beater, you can see how this character went down without much of a fight.

unrelated….i, on the other hand, was told by the surgeons that when it came to fighting for my life, they’ve rarely seen someone fight as hard as i did.

i am not supposed to be here according to science.  i’ll provide deeper insight into that experience later.  the reason i wasn’t going to leave is because of the beautiful people in my life.  that starts with nathan, autumn, my family and friends, band mates, the river people, and the most incredible community of them all, the music world.

yes i saw pure evil, which took over a weak, hollow soul and i encountered it.

also yes, the beauty of humanity destroyed this evil, in an overwhelming capacity.

the world turned this dark spot into a brilliant and radiant display of humanity, love and light…to the point where the darkness withered away into non existence. 

all i did was act as the conduit.  it was YOU, who showed this entity that it doesn’t stand a chance in this world.  thank you all so much from the bottom, middle and top of my heart.

you saved me and you made the world better.  

i’m not fully there yet.  i’m not even close.  i’ve got a bit of a mountain to climb.  i face challenges that there is no use in sharing because we focus on the positive here. i can walk and i can talk and i know who i am…those 3 things have put me ahead of what is expected right now.   i’m about to pick up a bass for the first time and for these simple treasures, i am very grateful, lucky and happy.  

as my energy level increases, i will fill in the holes, and describe with deeper detail what has happened.  i’ll keep everyone posted about my progress.  

“thank you” is the only expression that comes close to what i want to say to you guys.  take that, multiply it by what you think is the highest number in the world, and then you’ll be close to understanding how i feel.

i love you guys with every ounce of my being.

matthew

ps, another positive note…i finally have a justifiable reason to  dig into my walking cane and ww2 aviator helmut collection for public outtings.